just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Every concussion has its silver lining
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Your penis caused this!
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