why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
