Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
