the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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