with your own penis?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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