I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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