Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
