Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
