..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
