where am i from again
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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