So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
