i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize