Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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