Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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