in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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