Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
So squirting runs in the family.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
