I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Operation Purity has been aborted
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
