question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
