dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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