Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I smell stomach acid.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
