my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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