Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
this is an emotional support booty call
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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