i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
