he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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