love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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