new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
