it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
