id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
