oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
either way he was missing a nipple.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
