Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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