the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
