her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
wow bdsm is so cute
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
