i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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