you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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