Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Randomize
