It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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