Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
