I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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