so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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