I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
She announced her abortion via fbk
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
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