I am puke
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
