I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
