i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
