i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
