its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
