do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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