Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
