Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I haven't been this sober since birth.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
