He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
