he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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