So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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