Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
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