i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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