remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
